There are all kinds of people in this world...glass half empty and glass over flowing people. There are the less filling, tastes great crowd and of course there are the Magical Pixie Dust Peeps and the Disney Haters.
Its ok if you hate Disney. It may be the crowds that you hate, the in-ur-face commercialism or maybe Goofy just scared the bejeezus out of you as a kid. It doesn't really matter, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Chances are your adorably, perfect daughter blew out her birthday candles and told you she secretly wished to go to Disney. You got all weak in the knees, melted and caved. We understand. It's happened to the best of us.
Maybe it's Grandma's dream to take all the grandkids to Disney to celebrate her 70th birthday with a family reunion. Who can say NO to the dreams of an old lady...seriously!
This stories like these are usually the cause of why Disney haters find themselves in the unhappiest place on earth. I can appreciate that Disney haters can easily get under the tatooed-character skin of many die hard Disney fans.
The idea that a Disney Hater is spending their precious time and money to make somebody else happy means they are pretty OK people in my book. I undersand and I feel your pain.
So... if you love making your kids happy but are dreading the spastic cringe you know will happen to every single muscle in your body the moment you hear "It's A Small World", please take heart. It's dark in there, slip your earbuds in and crank up the anthem "Eye Of The Tiger". You will survive. It's a short ride so hopefully your hearing won't be any worse for wear.
Here are a few more survival tips for Disney Haters....
Open Mind - Be optimistic, like those glass over flowing folks. Find at least one positive thing and grasp onto it for dear life. Think about how happy your kids will be seeing you wear mouse ears. Think of the leverage you'll have over your spouse for months to come. This positive idea can be your lifeboat. Good news about positive thoughts is when you start to search them out it often opens the flood gates and then you won't need that lifeboat.
Be Respectful - My old school Italian Dad used to have a favorite saying..."You don't have to love me, but you must respect me". This little tough-love reminder can help get you through the day at Disney. You may not like all the fairies and fantasy but you do have to respect the logistics of Disney hospitality, their "smarketing" and team work.
Avoid Crowds - This may sound counter intuitive when we're talking Disney attractions but it is possible. With good itinerary planning, some fast passes and even phone apps you can seriously cut your wait times. We offer professional help with this or you can book a few extra sessions with your therapist when you get back home.The choice is entirely up to you.
Eat Well - Disney is not all corn dogs and mouse shaped ice cream pops. Non-Disneyphiles are often surprised to learn that Disney parks are a foodie's paradise. Many of the fine dining venues are surprisingly small and intimate. Reservations are needed but this is another way to escape the crowds and all the madness. Besides, the better Disney restaurants is where Mickey stashes the booze for when all else fails.
Reward Yourself - Bribery often works with parenting so why not use it in this case. Seeing that carrot dangling just out in front of us can help make despicable events seem a bit more tolerable. If there is one good thing about Disney, it's that old cliche that there really is something there for everybody. You will be able to find your nirvana. Perhaps it's the daily promise of a huge ghirardelli chocolate Sunday or a fine cigar. It may be time alone at the spa, in a boat fishing or out on the links. Allow yourself the freedom to do something really nice just for you.
The Fine Art of Compromise - Balance can be the key to sanity. If the kids MUST have breakfast with Mickey fine, no problem. Maybe schedule some time for the kids at the Neverland club one evening (aka Disney babysitters) so that you can drink "responsively".
Limit Your Disney Overload - Be honest, not cranky. Let your family know you're making an honest effort but you will need some down time. If you are a member of a dysfunctional family reunion and nobody hears a word your saying there is still hope. Walt Disney World is over 50 square miles. It's very easy for people to get separated. Just say your phone died and show up at the hotel after the fireworks.
TRY to have Fun - This tip does go back to keeping an open mind but for many people, Disney really can be magical if you can be a kid at heart. Maybe your character meet and greet is with the villians. Perhaps that is your photo for the family album. Just check with guest services and they will hook you up with Captain Hook. Evil minds may just think alike and you'll be in your happier place with your own kind.
The light at the end of this labor of love for you may simply be day you see the lights on the magic express bus pulling up to take you back to the airport. We all know you are a hero for making the effort and that memory will be the one that lasts.
