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Traveling away from home with kids is always a challenge for parents. Staying with family or friends can be a fun and economic alternative to a hotel. This is particularly true during the busy holiday travel season when families want to be together. Learning to be a good house guest is a social skill that parents need to pass onto their children. Just as there are good manners for the dinner table, there are good manners to remember when you are visiting or staying in someone else's home. Here are five easy tips for parents to remember to help your family learn to be great house guests...
1. SET RULES IN ADVANCE - First as parents, you need to establish rules and expected behavior for children while they are away from home. If children know in advance what is expected of them, there is less room for whining and arguments. Let children know that bedtime rituals may be a little different for a few days. This is how we teach our kids to be flexible. Depending on the age and understanding of your child, discuss rules for bedtime, curfews, mealtimes, activities, etc. Make sure you discipline your own children while visiting others. Unless an activity is dangerous, never discipline other people's children.
Secondly as house guests, parents need to communicate and discuss travel plans and arrangements with their host family in advance of their arrival. Personally, I believe in the "three day rule". This seems to be the right amount of time to visit and enjoy each other's company without getting on one another's nerves.
Frankly discuss arrival and departure times, sleeping arrangements, food, meals, child proofing,activities and entertainment for adults and kids prior to arrival. Be mindful and extra courteous of your hosts...for example if your arrival is delayed, call and make your hosts aware of any sudden change in plans. If your kids will only eat a particular brand of peanut butter, then bring along your own jar. Do not expect your host to provide it. If you need a crib or baby gear, bring or rent your own. Set rules for phone and internet use by adults and kids alike. Offer to contribute graciously. Your hosts may or may not be able to afford the costs of housing and feeding extra people. Your family may not be able to afford to pay for dinner out for everyone but perhaps you could treat your host parents to dinner and a movie alone while you babysit all the kids.
2. BRING GIFTS - My father always said that when visiting friends and relatives, "your hands should be so full with gifts, that you have to ring the doorbell with your elbow". I've always thought this to be good advice. It's a simple gesture to show folks your appreciation of their kindness and hospitality. Gifts do not need to be expensive or extravagant....it's the thought that counts. Homemade treats, fruit, coffee, candles or candy are all good ideas. If you're arriving by plane and are limited with luggage then maybe send flowers or a food gift basket in advance of your arrival. If your host family also has children then consider a small gift for the kids. Books, crafts or games that can involve everyone are always fun ideas.
3. B.Y.O.T. - This translates to "Bring Your Own Toiletries". Be self sufficient. Don't expect your host to provide everything down to your toothpaste and shampoo. And as long as we're on the subject of bathrooms, for God Sake...put the seat down and be sure you AND the kids flush! Remember you are in someone else's home so be clean and respectful.
4. Be A NEAT FREAK - As mentioned above, be EXTRA considerate when it comes to picking up after yourselves. Lift wheely suitcases so you don't roll street and airport dirt over someone's carpet. Make your bed, especially if you're bunking on a sofa in the living room. Pitch in with meal prep and clean up. Do your own laundry. Leave your host's home better than when you arrived. Accidents can happen. If you or your kids happen to break anything, apologize profusely and pay for damages or repairs.
5. SAY THANK YOU - Before leaving, be sure to say thank you to your hosts for sharing their home and hospitality. When you return home, it's a great to follow up with a written thank you too. Often this extra point of thoughtfulness is over looked with our busy schedules. Get the kids involved by making a special thank you note or including photos of your time together.
Communication, courtesy and respect are the key points to remember when it comes to being a great guest in some one else's home. These are great character traits we can pass along to our children. Travel gives us the opportunity to practice our manners. By following these simple rules, chances are your family will be invited back time and again to enjoy the holidays and quality fun time with family and friends.
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